Thora Soch Lays!

We, Muslims, and especially Pakistani Muslims, are a cute bunch of people. We have the capability to ignore such serious sins as fornication, murder and drinking, taking them to be a part of life. We even indulge in hypocrisy, lying, greed, lethargy and what not without giving it a second thought. But on certain other (arguably less important issues) we raise an alarm that is, mildly put, extremely exaggerated.

Before coming to the issue that prompted me to write this, here is a little example of this sort of behaviour. Some time ago, I (for a change) went to visit a relative. When leaving his house, I, as is the custom, said “Khuda Hafiz”. At this, I was unexpectedly snubbed by a respected elder and told that that was not the proper Islamic way to say goodbye. Naturally confused, I asked her to elaborate. She explained that we should always say “Allah Hafiz” since Khuda means God and many different people have many different Gods, so we must be clear about whose protection we want to put the recipient of the prayer in. I just couldn’t help laughing. I tried to explain to her as briefly as possible that no matter how many different gods various people of the world believed in, we only believed in one and that was Allah. Since everyone present knew this, Khuda should not mean anything but Allah. To further elaborate, I told her that with her logic, she should call her dad by his name since various people had various dads and she should be clear about the person she was referring to.

Coming back to the point, I have received various text messages and heard from a number of friends that Lay’s chips are suddenly haraam and should be avoided at all costs since it is now a sin to have them. Some people have elaborated that the said snack contains something called E631 which is made from pork and thus makes it haraam.

I have no objection to my Muslim brothers avoiding the snack to protect their faith, but for anyone who has a curious bone like me, here is some information that might help decide the matter.

1.             E631 is used to enhance the flavour of food.

2.             Though E631 can be extracted from pig fat, it is not the only source. It can also be obtained from sardines, yeast extract and a plant extract called Tapioca. All these sources except pig fat are not Haraam under any Islamic law.

3.             E631 is mainly used in the Masala flavour of Lay’s (imported from Thailand). This E631 is extracted from Tapioca and has been certified by the Central Islamic Committee of Thailand to be Halal.

4.             A number of researchers have spent a lot of time studying all kinds of different foods including snacks and have decided on which products are halal and Haraam. The only Lay’s flavour that I found to be Haraam in these lists was Baked Lay’s Brand KC Masterpiece BBQ Flavour.

5.             One ounce of regular lays contains 130 calories, 380 mg of salt and ten grams of fat (three grams of saturated fat). It has next to no minerals or vitamins. So there are other, more realistic reasons for staying away from too much intake of the snack.

So, if you want to extremely careful and do not trust the Thai Islamic Society, avoid BBQ and Masala flavours, the rest are fine. Although if someone wants to quit eating Lay’s totally just to be on the safe side, I respect their opinion.

Coming to the earlier point, I still wonder what our society would look like if we spent so much time and energy thinking about things where there is no doubt. Lying, cheating, harming others for one’s own benefit, making money through forbidden means, corruption, nepotism, bribery, misuse of authority, cruelty to humans and animals, all these things are forbidden. There is no confusion in these. Forget Lay’s; remember these and we’ll be fine.

Hold Your Fire!

It is extremely surprising, scary and more than a little disconcerting to listen to some of the self-proclaimed revolutionaries of Pakistan sitting in their drawing rooms and offices and blurting out their own suggestions on how all the maladies of this country can be remedied. The most popular way out, in the opinions of these intellectuals, is a bloody revolution similar to the ones that, in their view, brought the people of France, Russia and more recently Iran, out of their tragic lives and put them on the path towards a new and promising future. According to these thinkers (and there are a large number of them), the only way to improve the conditions in our country and transform it into one of the great nations of the world, is to line up just a few of the top brass, including some power hungry politicians, a few of the corrupt beaurucrats and some of these bloody soldiers and simply shoot them. That simple. Kill them and Weill be rid of all our worries.

It is surprising that well-educated people think on these lines. It is scary that if some psychopathic individual or group actually tried to do this, he would get more than a few supporters. And it is very disconcerting that all these Pakistanis feel that this is a distinct possibility.

This is not a new thought. It has been moving around intellectual circles for a long long time now. A number of people, who were against Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto must have had the same notion, and as for those who hated Gen. Zia, Benazir Bhutto, Nawaz Sharif, Gen. Musharraf and now Mr. Zardari, I have personally heard them expressing their desire to kill and live happily after.

I have a large number of problems with this way of thinking. My greatest concern is that we, as a nation, have historically acted in haste. We are always too eager to get rid of a certain individual or group but have absolutely no clue about who we intend to replace the said person or group with. Come to think of it. Had such a revolution come in the time of ZAB, would a certain General Zia ul Haq been among the ones lined up and shot? If a revolutionary army had toppled Gen. Zia, would they have killed a young and cheerful Benazir Bhutto with him? If the people had risen up against BB in the late 80s, would Nawaz Sharif have been one of the victims of their violent wrath? If Mian Sahib had become target of some collective murder, would one General Pervez Musharraf have joined him? And finally, if the lawyers movement had turned into the bloody revolution so eagerly awaited by us, would they have killed the harmless and irrelevant Asif Ali Zardari? The answer to all these questions, as far as I know, is No.
We do not need to strain our brains too much trying to figure out how to get rid of any of our leaders. Fate, or Allah, takes care of it. ZAB was hanged, Zia blown up, Mian and BB dismissed by their trusted colleagues and Musharraf resigned out of sheer exhaustion. Agreed, the people did play some part in the resignation of Gen. Musharraf, though one can only wonder how long he would have lasted even without the rise of the black coats. However, as for the other rulers, there can be no two opinions on the point that the revolutionaries had very little, if anything, to do with their removal. Why worry about a bloody revolution to oust someone who can be ousted by his own bloody fate? Removal by revolution would also have brought a new face with the same old characteristics to power.

Our problem is not how to get rid of a certain President, PM or General. Our concern should be how to ensure that someone worthy of the seat sits on it. Do we have any standards or guidelines to judge who our ruler(s) should be? Is there any clarity on the subject in any of our minds? Don’t we just carry a vague, uncertain picture of a leader in our minds and then simply keep deciding that anyone who rises to the top position in the state simply does not fit the bill? How long can we go on like this?

We are still not even clear if we want a parliamentary or a presidential system. Hell, were not even sure what we personally expect from a government. It is always much easier and infinitely more logical to rise up for something than to rise simply against something or someone.

Our forefathers rose against the British and the Hindus, succeeded and then got lost. We did not want the Hindus and the British, fair enough. But what did we want instead? After more than sixty years, we are the Islamic Republic of Pakistani and keep reading articles in the papers and listening to experts stating that Jinnah’s dream was a secular country and we should follow it. What utter confusion! We have Taliban pouring in from the Western borders and threatening to turn our women into Burqa clad mimes and Bollywood, Star Plus and Boogie Woogie marching in through our Eastern borders and trying to turn them into half-dressed, made-up, dancing decorations. And us. We condemn both. We hate both. We consider both an attack on our national identity. What that national identity actually is, who knows? And who the hell cares?

Revolutions in France and Iran were against monarchies that refused to listen to the plight of the people and did not have any plans to go anywhere. We don’t have any such problem. We live in a democracy. We are a nation that gained unprecedented freedom of expression even under a dictatorship. We have all the options in the world to grow, learn, groom and either choose or create alternative leaders. And if all else fails, we have more chances than people in most other countries, to try our hand at actually becoming that alternative.

The revolution in Russia was based on a new and hitherto untried philosophy, namely, communism. We have no such philosophy. The only thing we have is Islam and we don’t agree on anything in the religion. So a united uprising to implement the principles of Islam does not seem likely.

We need clarity. We need to know what we want, who we want and why we want it. Merely knowing what we don’t want is not enough. A revolution in our way of thinking is what we need. And that revolution starts with me, with every individual. Inquilaab Zindabad.

Whats in a Name!

What the hell is wrong with Pakistan? No, I have not been forced to ask this because of any specific event or group of events, this is a question that has dominated the mind of every thinking Pakistani for a long time. Even before we were hurled into the throes of terrorism, long before we became the reluctant partners in a never ending war against an invisible enemy and before we became a state always on the threshold of failure, one could always see that there was something seriously wrong with this state.

I don’t believe that we have been the victims of any extraordinary catastrophe perpetrated by foreign elements that has caused our continuous downfall into this abyss. We have the unusual distinction of being a state that never recovered from its creation. Yes, I know that the creation of Pakistan was not some tragedy that we had to recover from, but we made sure that it appeared to be more and more of a tragedy as years passed.

The people of Pakistan, especially those of Punjab, have historically been wonderful slaves, but never masters, not even of our own destiny. We have acquired the habits of following without questioning, stabbing our brothers in the back to gain the approval of our Lords, going to unheard of extremes to prove our loyalties to whoever rules us and linking our success and failure to the extent to which we can please or (God forbid) annoy our masters. 

The exodus of gora saabs from India left a gaping vacuum above us slaves, which we were supposed to rise and fill. Unfortunately, we never proved up to the task. Instead, we began our so-called independent existence appearing confused and scared and soon began looking for new masters to fill in this vacuum. America eventually obliged and now we are a nation that has lost its identity, is fighting wars against its own people, has strained relations with all its neighbours (including the Muslim brothers) and where the President and the top military brass has gone (for the umpteenth time) to USA to discuss sensitive security issues (read get fresh orders).

It is about time that we took a keener look at our history and developed the courage to face the demons in our closets. We have to admit our mistakes, accept our weaknesses and then attempt to rise above these petty attitudes and start on our way to becoming a nation.

Our common educated man (of which there are pathetically few, but enough) must be aware of the problems our nation faces and the history of how we ourselves created them. Even a basic knowledge could provide food for thought and I am sure we will eventually come up with better and workable ideas to get out of this mess.

The North Western Frontier Province and the threat of Talibanization and terrorism are all too obvious. I want to point to another issue that is far less threatening and far simpler. I am no expert on the subject but I don’t understand all the fuss about changing the name of the province. I mean, what’s wrong with it? Why not change it to Pakhtoonistan or whatever the residents of the area want? Seriously, N.W.F.P. is not even a name. As far as I know Punjab means the land of the five rivers, Balochistan means the land of the Balochs and Sind probably (though I am not sure) is named after the river Indus. What does N.W.F.P. mean? It means the province that is in the North-West of the country and on its border. In Urdu, it is called Sarhad which simply means boundary. I want all readers to think seriously, is that even a name? It is at best an address. How would anyone of you want to be named ‘the second child of Mr. so-and-so who lives in F-10?’ I think the government must accept their demand, which is not for a change of name but more for a name instead of an address.

We are not four provinces. We are one country. National integration demands some empathy for each other’s issues. And this name game is as good a place to start as any. It does not threaten our national security or survival and as far as I can tell, changing the name would not even be a burden on our economy. So why the fuss? We have no competitor when it comes to bugging our provinces to unbelievable extents. We’ve lost half the country with this sort of behaviour. It has to stop. We have to stop looking at NWFP or Balochistan as a threat to this country and start considering them a part of this country.

Blunt Axes!

There was a time when the most frustrating aspect regarding Pakistani society was our indifference and apathy to the tragic circumstances that prevailed in the country. Believe it or not, this attitude is a thing of the past now. The credit may go to the freedom of the media, the limit of our tolerance or sheer chance, but we, as a nation, have emerged from the depths of ignorance and inaction and are now at least prepared to take an interest in what is going on around us and react.

However, this is a slow process. We are in a transition from indifference to proper action and our biggest concern should be to make sure that, unlike a number of other transitions, this one does not become a permanent feature of our national life. We have a habit of hanging in the middle for too long, far too long. We delay the final push towards our destination so much that the transitional phase becomes a permanent one and if and when we do take the final steps, it is mostly too late and our destination no longer serves the purpose. Hence, we continue to move from one transition to another.

Times change too quickly now. We can’t spare too much time to congratulate ourselves, we must move on. New attitudes bring new challenges that need to be faced and tackled in order to get maximum advantage from the current situation. New things have to be learnt, and more importantly, a number of old things have to be unlearnt.

We have acquired a very bad habit of jumping to conclusions without first gaining clarity on a subject and taking on irrelevant burdens on our shoulders, consequently leading to frustrations. 

Some phrases that I have grown to hate over the years are ‘Drawing room Politics’, ‘Drawing room Discussions’ etc. Every other day, I hear things like ‘That is theoretically correct but ground realities are different’ or ‘We must stop discussing and act now’ and I feel a little perturbed by such thoughts. 

I feel the need to explain my views of some of these concepts once and for all.

The term ‘silent majority denotes the group of people who do not express their opinions publicly. However, this group may contain two kinds of people. Those who appear to have no desire to say anything on anything, who appear indifferent and have no realization of the fact that they can, in their own way, contribute towards improving the situation, are the real problem. The other group contains those who have opinions on things which they express amongst their close friends and enter into positive discussions and debates with each other in an effort to decide the best solution to a certain problem and the most useful way in which they can contribute. Such people are a very important asset. They should not be bombarded with insensitive criticism and asked repeatedly to stop talking and start acting. It is the minds, the debates and the drawing rooms of these people that are the potential breeding grounds for ideas, plans and courses that can become the fuel for our national development.

Everyone is not a revolutionary by nature. Yes, we need leaders and followers, we need activists. But much more than that, we need people who generate ideas; ideas about where we need to go, which path can become our salvation. Without a clear direction, the leader and the followers will be mere wanderers. And these ideas can develop in the drawing rooms. 

We, and a number of other nations and individuals, have committed the mistake of jumping without preparation and facing the consequences. We need to gain clarity on a number of things before we can be sure of how to act. So let the active people act, the thinking people think and the drawing room politicians discuss. Let everyone do their own job and hope to utilize the best product of every effort.

One example of our lack of clarity; the operation on Lal Masjid was universally condemned and became one of the major causes of Gen. Musharraf’s downfall. Our ‘civil society’ and ‘intelligentsia’ not only condemned the operation but openly expressed their opinions against it, in the newspapers, in public gatherings and on the streets. The same intelligentsia, though, does not seem to mind the current military operation in N.W.F.P. and some members of this elite group have gone to the extent of appreciating and welcoming the step. 

I fail to understand the difference between the two operations. If anything, the attack on Lal Masjid was better planned since it was a preemptive strike to prevent the possibility of something like what happened in Swat. 

We direly need some people to take on the task of showing us direction. And anyone of us can play that role, provided he has put in all his intellectual resources and come up with a plan. If we need to do something for the country, we must spend most of our time figuring out the best thing to do. Once the plan is in place and there is a will, implementation is the easiest part.

Russian revolution without Marx or the French revolution without Rosseau could not have been possible.

Silent majority is a phrase coined by Richard Nixon, one of the most controversial of American Presidents. Maybe we would be better off learning a thing or two from one of the greatest American Presidents. Abraham Lincoln said “If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six hours sharpening my ax”.