A Tale of Two Assemblies!

Three main points were discussed in the Punjab Assembly yesterday, the 9^th of February 2009. The opposition raised a lot of hue and cry over the snatching of a mobile from an MPA of PML (Q). For those who are unaware of this incident, some robbers in police uniform (aren’t most of them?) opened the door of Ms. Amna Ulfat’s car and snatched her mobile on the traffic signal in front of the Punjab Assembly. The PML (Q) MPA complained that none of the large number of police officials on the scene took any interest in the proceedings (as if it was an unusual occurring) and her driver had to (unsuccessfully) run after the robbers. She also complained that when she raised an alarm, one police official came and instead of taking her cries seriously, simply asked her to move her car out of the way so that the traffic could move on (talk about taking one’s job seriously). The law minister responded by saying that the SP Civil Lines had been asked to come and listen to the MPA’s story. He wondered why the poor lady was still upset. Come to think of it, the worthy law minister is right, she shouldn’t be upset, in fact she should be pleased that Pakistan is becoming such a fair country where an MPA is treated in exactly the same way as a normal citizen (Eh! Mr. Khan, it seems the Tehreek-e-Insaaf is succeeding in some manner at least).

The second main point of discussion was raised by Ms. Joyce Ruffins, again of the PML(Q). She reminded the government that it had not fulfilled its promise (in case anyone is wondering, this promise was not Quran or Hadees either) of providing separate quotas in jobs for Christians. The treasury was surprised at this since it had advertised several posts of sweepers which were especially for Christians (what else does an educated Christian need?). After this, the House went into a long discussion of how PML (Q) could also not take care of minorities (which obviously absolves all other parties of any such obligation) and how the PPP’s nationalization of educational institutions (which, by the way, happened more than 35 years ago) harmed the Christians.

In the end a little time was dedicated to the blast in Mianwali and a resolution was passed showing sympathy with the bereaved families. Of course, the time spent on this breach of security was much less than that spent on the mobile-snatching issue. But this was natural, since the blasts are already being taken care of by the war on (t)error.

I am not going to comment on these proceedings any further. For those who are confused and want to know why the hell I wrote all this, read on.

In the House of Commons on the same day, i.e., the 9^th of February, the main points of discussion included the future of the Child Support Agency, a five year strategy on offender management aimed at protecting the public and reducing re-offending, the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill, Delegated Legislation, the Northern Ireland Arms Decommissioning Act, the School Finance Regulations and the Regulatory Reform (Forestry) Order among other things. More than a hundred speeches were made, not one of them containing irrelevant or meaningless material.

Just ask yourself. Why such a huge contrast? Are we incapable, uneducated or downright stupid? Think about it. And you just might get to the conclusion that it’s none of the above. We’re just indifferent. We don’t care what happens in the assemblies, and the people inside the assemblies usually don’t care what happens outside. Democracy is the government of the people, not government of the elected representatives of the people. This seems like a small distinction but it makes all the difference. Our choice is clear. Either own your government and take responsibility, or put up and shut up. If you feel there’s nothing you can do, then act on that feeling and don’t do anything. Think of some other topics for your drawing rooms, or better yet, leave Pakistan to those who care and let them do what they think they can.

There are three kinds of Pakistanis. Those who rob their elected members in front of the assembly, those who get robbed and those who ignore the robbery and ask the victim to move their car and then wonder why the victim is making such a fuss. There is a third kind living in Pakistan, those who don’t even know what’s going on and couldn’t care less. The question is, are this fourth kind just a type of people who live in Pakistan or can they actually be called Pakistanis?

Heroes!

According to a news report published today, “The government is considering filing an appeal against Islamabad High Court’s verdict declaring nuclear scientist Dr A. Q. Khan a ‘free citizen’. According to Government sources the court decision might be challenged because of concerns expressed by the United States and the United Kingdom over the ‘release’ of Dr Khan.”

I just want to refresh the memory of my readers a little.

1998 - Pakistan conducted nuclear tests in response to India’s tests a few days earlier. Dr. A.Q. Khan was hailed as a hero who brought the nuclear technology into the Muslim world. The President of Pakistan (Rafiq Tarar) awarded him a gold medal for his contributions in this field.

1999 - The government changed and Gen. Musharraf came to power.

2001 - The U.S. government was becoming wary of Dr. Khan and was afraid that he was trading nuclear technology to N. Korea (without any real evidence). Under U.S. pressure, the Pakistani government announced that Dr. Khan was to be dismissed from the post of Chairman KRL. In the face of huge public outcry, Gen. Musharraf, being the great tactician that he was, appointed Dr. Khan as Special Science and Technology advisor to the President. The public became satisfied at this, little knowing that this move achieved its purpose anyway, which was to remove Dr. Khan from KRL.

2002 – U.S. alleged that Dr. Khan was providing nuclear technology to Iraq, an accusation that has been subsequently proved wrong by the failure of the US forces to find any WMDs in Iraq (not that anyone noticed).

2003 – US alleged that Dr. Khan was supplying nuclear technology to Iran and Libya, again without any real evidence.

2004 – Dr. Khan was dismissed from his post as Advisor to the President “to allow a fair investigation into the alleged proliferation”. About a month later, Dr. Khan inexplicably confessed on TV and was pardoned by President Musharraf the next day and put under house arrest. There was no US reaction to this pardon.

2006 – Dr. Khan was diagnosed with prostate cancer and later with deep vein thrombosis.

2008 – The Government changed again and President Musharraf resigned. Dr. Khan alleged that he was forced to confess by Musharraf and that actually the President was the mastermind behind the proliferation.

2009 – Dr. Khan was released by the Islamabad High Court and made a ‘free citizen’. But the government stated that, under US pressure, it intended to appeal the decision.

I don’t want to comment on the above details. A lot has been and will be said on that. Neither do I want to judge Dr. A.Q. Khan. I just want to remind the naïve members of our society (and our government) that the only country that can ever sincerely want what is good for Pakistan is Pakistan itself. It does not matter if Dr. Khan is a hero or a villain. What matters is that we identify our people as heroes or villains according to the whims of other countries, which is absurd.

Who is a national hero in Pakistan? Based on what I see around me, anyone who acts against the interest of Pakistan cannot be called our hero, and as for someone who acts in the interest of Pakistan, and consequently becomes a threat to some other country, we are not allowed to call him a hero. So the only ones we’re left with are those who do not act at all. Maybe that is why most Pakistanis find it so hard to get off their asses. We want to be heroes, and the only way we can do that is not act for or against Pakistan. Way to go Pakistan! Wonderful people, don’t do anything yourselves, keep waiting for extraordinary people so that your can waste them when the US says so. 

Justice!

Justice is the most fundamental of human rights and injustice the cause of all trouble. A head of state must be a just man, though we, in Pakistan would probably settle for someone who is just a man (at least).

 

Mr. Asif Ali Zardari is on a visit to Peshawar where, today he announced a relief package for the Tribal areas. In his address to the tribal jirga in Governor House, Peshawar, he stated that 610 tribals have been killed during the war on (t)error. I presume that he missed a zero somewhere in that figure. He announced a package of 280 million rupees for the area. If I have my calculations correct, this amounts to about 3.5 million dollars which comes to about $5,810 for each person killed (even if the death toll quoted by the co-chairman is taken to be accurate).

 

Compare this to the amount of money and power one person gained from another person killed on 27-12-2007. This is not justice, Mr. President. 

Don’t blame me blame SOCIETY!

Thoreau -- “Rather than love, than money, than fairness, give me truth.” 

We do not choose our parents, or our brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles and so on. In short we do not choose where we are born, just like we do not have any say in the time when we enter this world. If astrology is to be believed, our time of birth and the position of the zodiac have a tremendous influence on our future lives. Similarly, if genetics is to be believed, the genes we inherit from our parents are equally if not more, influential. The kind of person we are in the extremely early years of our lives are almost totally dependant on our genetic make up and the zodiac, neither of which did we choose with free will.

 

Next begins the period when we grow or are brought up. Besides the above-mentioned factors, certain others contribute in this phase. These include our family, especially parents, the environment, which includes the climate as well as the financial, social and mental status of the people around us, plus what we eat, what we hear, what we see etc. and obviously we do not have any control whatsoever on any of these. As we grow up we start making friends. Although this might seem like a free decision, it is actually dominated by the influences of all the above factors as well as the school, if any, that we are enrolled in. The choice of school is again not our own. What we learn in the school or from the street is again not our free choice. We perceive whatever is thrown at us without our permission, and learn from it based on our personality traits, none of which are of our own making. To cut a long story short, we get to the age of maturity with a personality that has been formed by factors that were beyond our control.

Once mature, we start taking decisions that, apparently, are a manifestation of free will. But are they really free? Are they free from all the prejudices that have been produced in our minds by our earlier years when we did not have any freedom to choose what was happening with our lives? I am afraid not. What we perceive as free will is so greatly influenced by our genes, what we learnt in our earliest years, the education we got, our social circle, our experiences and our observations that in view of the fact that we do not get to choose any of the factors, it cannot be termed as free at all.

 

And we don’t stop being influenced by forces beyond our control. We start doing what is acceptable in the society and abstaining from what is not. We try to move on a path set by the people at large and make efforts to get ahead of everyone else on this path. It is paradoxical that such a huge number of people follow a certain way of life because the others are following it. If that is the reason why every single one of us follows it, would it not be relevant to ask who these ‘others’ are. Would it be necessary for all to change the path at once if it has to be changed at all?

 

On a different note please do read the lyrics of the song Society by Eddie Vedder from the soundtrack of movie (true story) Into The Wild which is also a must see J

 

Society

 

Oh it's a mystery to me.

We have a greed, with which we have agreed...

and you think you have to want more than you need...

until you have it all, you won't be free.

 

Society, you're a crazy breed.

I hope you're not lonely, without me.

 

When you want more than you have, you think you need...

and when you think more then you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.

I think I need to find a bigger place...

cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

 

Society, you're a crazy breed.

I hope you're not lonely, without me.

Society, crazy indeed...

I hope you're not lonely, without me.

 

There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more,

but if less is more, how you keepin' score?

It means for every point you make, your level drops.

Kinda like you're startin' from the top...

and you can't do that.

 

Society, you're a crazy breed.

I hope you're not lonely, without me.

Society, crazy indeed...

I hope you're not lonely, without me

Society, have mercy on me.

I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.

Society, crazy indeed.

I hope you're not lonely...

without me.

Free Slaves!

“Man was born free but everywhere he is in chains” said Jean-Jacques Rousseau in is treatise on the ‘Social Contract’, and how right he was! Although slavery stands abolished in most of the modern world, unfortunately this abolition is limited to the slavery of one man to another. We still have masters, more than a few of them, and the slavery to these masters is worse than that practiced during the ancient or medieval times. This is for two reasons. First, these masters are not tangible or as easily perceivable than the human masters. And second, this slavery is not forced on us, at least not in the sense that the word is normally used, we choose it and accept it, we even believe that it is a necessary part of the existence of a modern man. Most of the time we don’t even notice that we are slaves. 

To fully comprehend this lack of freedom, all we need is a glance at the life of any random person or group of persons. For want of a better example, lets take a normal working day in the life of a normal modern middle class man. We’ll call him Mr. X.

Mr. X is jerked out of his sleep at seven o’clock in the morning by the blaring alarm of a clock by his bedside. He does not want to wake up but feels that he has to lest he is late and consequently left behind in the race that is our world. Frequently, he does not get out of bed instantly, he stays in it for as long as his nerves will allow him, constantly feeling the passage of time as if it were a physical phenomenon and finally has to get up against his body’s cries for a little more relaxation. Already getting late, he rushes through the rituals of a bath, a shave and other related activities essential for his hygienic upkeep, followed by a quickly gobbled breakfast, essential for his physical health. He immerses himself in the rush hour traffic and crossing the exact same route that he has been crossing for the past many years, gets to his office. Although he almost always gets to his office on time, he still spends his journey with a constantly nagging fear that he might be late. The thought never crosses his mind that if and when he does get late, the actual effect on the organization he works for, or the universe in general will be minimal to the extent of being trivial. He does not like this fear or the route or the rush hour traffic but feels that all these things are necessary evils. He spends his working day going through more or less the same routine as every other day, but this fact does not prevent him from giving an unsettling amount of importance to what he is doing. He does it because it is necessary for his survival in the job.

On his way back from office, he once again becomes a part of the evening rush. He hates the other traffic on the road just as much as they hate him but he can’t help it. It is, he knows, a necessary evil. Once back home, he has to fulfill his obligations to the family and the society. He has to attend dinners and weddings, make social calls or receive guests, take his family shopping or just spend quality time with them. He also must keep himself fit so he has to have an exercise routine. At the end of the day, if he has some time and energy left, since he must also keep himself abreast with current events as well as ensure that he gets some entertainment, a channel surfing session begins where he watches a little news, a little song and dance, maybe reads a little and then dozes off into an exhausted and mostly comfortless sleep, some time way after midnight. The clock keeps ticking and at exactly 7.00 a.m. the next morning the alarm blares again and the routine continues for an indefinite period.

Change a few facts here and there and this depiction fits almost any life. Notice the words in italics in the above account. ‘Necessary’, ‘essential’, ‘must’, ‘has to’, ‘obligations’, all betray an absence of free will. They depict acts done on the pretext that they just have to be done. Look at your own life, how much time do you spend doing things that you want to do? And that does not include the things that you have long accepted as necessary evils and then convinced yourself that you want them.

We spend our lives as slaves, with many masters. Social pressure, time, routine, law, family, peer pressure, traditions are just some of our masters. If any of the readers feels that he or she does not live this kind of life but is a free individual whose decisions are solely based on free will, I would suggest that do read the next part in our next issue and we’ll see if this feeling was justified.

 

Cheap Coolness!

Environment is the second biggest concern and challenge that our generation is facing and if not cured today it will be something that will hurt us badly in the coming years. There is a lot that we can do to at least minimize the deterioration on a personal level. But living in Pakistan I have met only a handful of people who are actually willing to compromise their lifestyle just to help resolve this issue. For most of us it is just not a priority or may be it’s not so cool to care.

Speaking of cool there is a large number of people in Pakistan who are benefitting the environment just by driving their cars on CNG as opposed to petrol. However, the main intent is to save money, not to reduce emissions, & this fact is what makes it so un cool. Only cheap college students and people with too many family members drive on CNG not cool people.

Miley Cyrus the teenage pop sensation just bought a black Prius a hybrid car made by Toyota and not a Porsche or a Ferrari because these days in west it is cool to do so media and celebrities make compromises look cool. Why didn’t we position our unaware CNG drvers as the IN CROWD. Or maybe during this year declared by our government as the year for environment we can do something, its never to late.

As of right now I drive on petrol because I think that I am cool (as ice since have a diesel burning machine as wellL).      

Teaching How To!

A couple of days back a friend of mine was collecting money for a person who came to him for help. I offered to pitch in a thousand rupees however, the interesting thing about his fundraising was that one could not contribute more than hundred rupees. Idea being not burden donors and also to make as many people possible to be a part of this effort. At the end of the day he managed to raise enough to buy a filled fruit cart to that person, so he can immediately start working and begin to sustain himself.

More or less the Zakat concept, which got me thinking that the trend of dispersing Zakat that I see around me is more of giving charity to hospitals, orphanage etc. which is good too. But we hardly focus on making the recipients self sustainable.

Should we consider encouraging more spending on sustainable help as opposed to quick fixes? You know the teaching how to fish thing……     

Let Me Entertain You!

It’s been a while since I came back to my blog (Rabayl thank you for reminding I had one). Some how the month of May has usually been very eventful for me, I fell in love for the first time in May (or may be it was second time no no fifth I guess, well not important), I broke my neck in May, did my first ever hunger strike in May etc. and now had interesting interaction on TV in May.

As it is my obsession with TV can never end and having a few spicy things happen here and there keep me fueled enough to watch more TV. Couple of days backs my friend Faisal and I got into a discussion regarding media responsibility and how so many people are out there to change the face of our country and not make money, and the impact of pointing of the fingers. As it happens I unknowingly sent an emotional email thinking it will only go to him but it went to his whole mailing list and to top that he replied to that email on his show “Ankahi” on live national TV saying that he is washing his “Damman” (clothes could be the closest translation I could come up with) and since it is very dirty it will take time to clean, well I do my laundry at home but that’s just me.

Moving on this was not as exciting as the other adventure I had with TV, soon after the first anniversary of May 12 and the break up of Zardari Sharif (I love the way how GEO puts it) and further price hike the jazba of doing something came back but as always I got stuck on the same old point “do what?” I am doing charity (as much as I can afford may be more), I am trying to convey messages of positivity and good to young and old, I am stretching my physical financial capacity but nothing seems to be fulfilling. So I went into an analysis and realized that in recent history of our country three things took the nation by storm (and I mean not the positive storm like “Sarmad has taken the world by storm” this storm is like the one in Burma these days). Those three are terrorism, lawyers and media. Since the first two are consolidated in the third one more like the first two are bullets and the third is the gun. So to better understand things I started to again watch all the talk shows without any bias. While I was about digest the bombs another bomb fell on me.

There is a show called “Begum Nawazish Ali” now just to give you a background from the day one I had a principle difference against the show so I never watched it, lost respect of those who came as guests etc. I am not saying I am right or wrong it was just a personal difference. To my luck due to a team commitment and for promoting something I was to be a guest on that show I tried to say no but couldn’t be a spoiled sport at the last minute. So I consulted one of my teachers who is a 40 something Irish dude and he said that “have supper with the devil if it helps your cause”. So with that justification in mind I went.

I won’t get into the details of how it started or what I said or did not say on the show, however, when I left Karachi and was on a plane back home, I realized that I have finally found that one honest show in Pakistani media. Why do I say that? The host is not a woman but dresses like one AND THE AUDIENCE KNOWS THAT. The host is vulgar AND THE AUDIENCE KNOWS THAT. The host is asking direct nonsense questions AND THE AUDIENCE KNOWS THAT. The host is not making any claims to change the world but only claiming to entertain AND HE IS DOING THAT AND AUDIENCE KNOWS THAT. The social contribution or passing of valuable information is only by chance or a wind fall effect AND AUDIENCE EXPECTS THAT. The host is there to make money for the entertainment he provides AND HE IS DOING THAT AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.

During such confused state of affairs in our media I found it be most transparent show, whilst while watching any other talk show may it be a women targeted morning show or political show or any other at the end one cannot help but be confused what this messiah exactly wants. Vanity comes across but is not accepted, all the discussion at the end of the day either ends up in cheap entertainment or boring nothings. What ever good comes out of those is only by chance and a wind fall effect. No wonder Begum is one of the most popular shows in Pakistan and India (my differences prevail).

Not being judgmental but in a business where you wear make up is called show business and show business is at its best when it is entertaining. And may be our audience is not as stupid as we might think of them to be. Its just that only Begum had the courage.

E-TV!!!

It is not E-TV as in E-mail, E-card or E-transaction or lots of other Es that we are surrounded by. This is my wish come true, it has not been even a month since my first blog “Television! Television! Television!” was written and E-published (on places where only I read them), it seems that my dearest president of Pakistan his highness Mr. Musharaf not only read it, but took E-action and imposed the E-mergency. And all my nagging complaints were put to rest.

E-TV is great everyone loves everyone, a lot of progress in our country especially in Punjab is highlighted, and most importantly it covers the truth. No seriously the exact words are “We don’t break the news. We cover the truth” imagine! I love the long term vision of E-TV it is very simple yet deep, convert I-diots to E-diots (I know it sounds more like converting a Mac user to a Vista user which is not easy by any means). But this is the challenge and I have full faith in my Leader that he will succeed, because he is not throwing punches in the air like most of the I-diots, he has a complete plan laid out. A plan that has no grey areas either you’re an “I” or an “E”. If you choose to remain an “I” your plugs will be pulled no one will know why or where you are acting funny since E-TV will be covering the truth. And temptation to convert is so E-conomic that it only makes sense to do so.

Hopefully all the I-diots will realize that in these dangerous times they had I-nstigated so much of chaos that E-mergency was the only thing left for the president and his entourage to stay E-conomically safe. And I am sure most of the I-diots would have done the same if they had the power. With time things change and change is I-nconvenient, it is time to sign the E-paper to run the E-comerce and become an EEEEEEEEWW (the last two “Ws” where a typo).

IS-ing my Face!

Moving on I was guessing that my TV was the only irritating mode of communication at hand (no I haven’t bought a new TV or a contract with any network). Severely overrated social life that I have these days “Facebook” has turned out to be nuisance as well specially from the day I installed it on my Blackberry. Now imagine this I am sitting in front of my TV (you know how sad that is) and my berry goes ‘ping’ ‘ping’ breaks my concentration and no matter how hard I resist I do pick it up thinking that some thing exciting is about to happen but guess what I see is “XYZ is scratching his butt”.

Now this should be enough to just uninstall the application put in a good DVD with beautiful women and simply watch more TV. Sounds so simple right? but it is easier said than done. Once I read a status update by any of my friends I feel it my obligation to come up with a more creative (or sick) update for myself. Otherwise imagine the public humiliation that “Sarmad updated his status 8 hrs ago”. 8 hrs is a lifetime if my friends came to know that I had no contact with internet for this long my life is over. So I start to think as creatively as I can, but guess what nothing that I have not read on others profile comes to mind. Stage 2 is to think of good quotes by famous people and give them a “IS” twist but when you are updating your status every couple of hours and not reading any new books you run out of such quotes. Then comes the stage 3 ok now quickly put in a CD of some alternative singer that most of the people in my friends list don’t listen to and try “IS-ing” a verse or a lyric, occasionally it works. But when it does not than the going gets tough and extreme measures such as expletives, signs, symbols come to rescue.

This doesn’t end here it is a ‘never ending’ struggle (like the never ending movie quiz) to stay on top. Though there are no rewards and Facebook wasn’t something I looked up for it just popped up in my email one day and now it is gradually taking over. It’s a war of egos everyone watching everyone. It was never suppose to be MY war but like most wars I am fighting it day in and out without ever knowing why.